“I also did not, do not and will not ever regret having him.”
Maxwell Pearsall, 7/22/2015-7/22/2015, Trisomy 13, Bolivia, NC
I was suppose to be leaving for basic training. But the day before I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant on January 1st with a home test. A week later I made up an appointment etc. We had my first ultrasound a week after that I was 12 weeks pregnant. At 20 weeks I took the blood test to test for abnormalities: down syndrome, Spina Bifida,etc. We also had the anatomy scan. We found out we were having a girl. Every thing was perfect. The doctors told us the specialist would only call if the test results came back… And it said something was wrong.
Later that week I was off shopping buying baby girl stuff, I get a call from my husband saying to call the specialist. I panicked right then. I called the doctor frantic wondering why they couldn’t tell my husband what was wrong since I did sign the papers for them to share information. After I calmed down the doctor told me that the baby test 12% positive for Spina Bifida. And on the last ultrasound they saw some stuff they were worried about.
We went to the specialist the next day, thinking it was just Spina Bifida. We kinda thought we were having a boy not a girl. We were ok with that. Then we went into a big room with a round table. My husband and I were surrounded by the specialist a genetic counselor and a intern. The specialist said: “the baby has a lot of abnormalities,the brain just isn’t there.”I curled up in a ball screaming, crying in my husbands lap. She just started talking about abortion and that there was no hope.
They offered to do an amniocentesis. We did. We got the phone call a week after saying the baby had Trisomy 13. Only thing I wanted to know was if I was having a son or a daughter. My husband got home from work and I told him we were having a son named Maxwell.
I started doing research on Trisomy the day after we found out. Trying to prove that babies have survived before. Looking up abnormalities and writing down plenty of questions.
I blew the doctor away with all of the questions and info I knew about it.
I had an ultrasound every other week. For the next couple of weeks. In which the doctor told me each time it wasn’t to late to abort and that I was young. And that I needed to go to college and try later. Like my baby could just be replaced.
In between ultrasound I went to the OBGYN specialist. So I was at some kind of doctor each week. They told me I was Pre eclampsia and that my health was at risk, I didn’t care I had to protect my baby from all and everything.
At these ultrasounds we found out that:
He had four holes in his heart. ASD and VSD
Holoprosencephaly, his head was swelling from built up fluid.
A lot of fluid on the back of the neck
They also said his hands were clenched shut
My appointments changed to every week once I was 30 weeks.
On July 21st it was a Tuesday, I went to the OBGYN as usual. I hadn’t felt max move all day. I was pretty moody my blood pressure wasn’t doing right either. I had a gut feeling something was wrong. I was going to the OBGYN for a normal weekly check up and when she put the doppler on my belly, it was silent.
I knew he was gone. I just stared at my husband. The doctor left to go get an ultrasound machine just to be certain. His heart had stopped beating.
We had to go to the specialist so they could remove the fluid from his brain in utero, so I could deliver with out a c-section.
We went to the hospital and at 1:15 Am July 22nd my beautiful son was born. Weighing 3 pounds 14 ounces and was 16 and a half inches long. He had:
Polydactyly (extra digit on both hands and feet)
Even though my son never got to take his first breath, I am still blessed to be able to be called his mom. I also did not, do not and will not ever regret having him.