When Air Force pilot Raliene Banks learned her daughter Faith likely had Trisomy 13, her world shifted instantly. What followed was a journey of love, gut-wrenching decisions, grace, and a legacy that continues to touch families today.
This full-length conversation is one of the most moving stories SOFT has ever shared.

🎧 Watch or Listen to the Full Interview

YouTube: https://youtu.be/LHl8JWrdI0I
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wfFiJic7zC55FojgFc5on?si=inwD-qBBQyOvsow_uXvNfQ

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Raliene and her husband, Josh, received their prenatal screening results on an ordinary Sunday afternoon at Red Robin. They learned they were expecting a girl—but also saw the unfamiliar and terrifying words: Patau syndrome, Trisomy 13, and abnormal.

With no one available on a Sunday to explain the lab report, they endured a long and frightening wait until they could meet with Maternal–Fetal Medicine later that week.
There, an ultrasound revealed multiple anomalies—confirming what doctors felt was very likely full Trisomy 13.

Raliene shares what that moment felt like, and the emotional collapse that followed when she and Josh reached their car and realized they did not know whether they would ever meet their daughter alive.

Turning to Community When the Future Felt Unknown

Their families loved them fiercely but had not walked this road. What Raliene longed for was connection with someone who truly understood.

Through a chance connection, she met a Trisomy 18 parent—her first glimpse that someone could survive the diagnosis, the birth, and the heartbreak.

Soon after, their genetic counselor referred them to SOFT.

And by pure providence—SOFT’s annual conference was only four hours away.

At that conference, Raliene and Josh met:

Families who had lost their child
Families caring for medically complex children
Families whose children were thriving
Medical professionals specializing in Trisomy 13 & 18 care

What they saw changed everything.
As Raliene said:

“Seeing those families gave me confidence that no matter what happened—whether Faith lived hours, days, or years—we would be okay.”

Faith’s Birth, NICU Moments, and Eight Beautiful Days

Faith was born via emergency C-section when her heart rate repeatedly decelerated during induction.

Raliene recalls:

“They held her up to my face. She opened her eyes and looked right at me. I was the first person—and the last person—she ever saw.”

Faith lived for eight extraordinary days, filled with:

Skin-to-skin snuggles
Grandparents meeting her
Shared football games with Josh
Pageant videos with her mom
A cherished photoshoot with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
A “zoo” of stuffed animals surrounding her bed

As Raliene says, “Anything she gave us was a gift. We cherished every moment.”

Grief, Healing, and the Power of Doing

After Faith passed, Raliene grieved deeply—but she also learned something important from her counselor:

There are feelers and doers.
Raliene and Josh found healing in doing.

Josh ran races carrying a large cut-out photo of Faith.
Raliene competed in a pageant six weeks postpartum—
and won.
They honored Faith by telling her story.
They stayed connected to the SOFT community.

As Raliene says:

“I’ve heard that a person dies twice—when they take their last breath, and when people stop saying their name. By sharing her story, I keep her alive.”

A Rainbow After the Storm

A year after losing Faith, Raliene experienced a miscarriage—another devastating loss.

Eventually, they tried again.
On Faith’s birthday, during a family cruise, Raliene discovered she was pregnant with her son Asher.

Asher—whose name means happy and blessing—is now the family’s bright, joyful ray of light.

Raliene’s Message to Other Trisomy Parents

Raliene offers one of the most compassionate and balanced messages any new parent could hear:

“There are no wrong decisions for your child—only the ones you make with love.”

She reminds families:

You must give yourself grace
You can only make decisions based on the information you have at the time
No one else lives with the outcome—only you do
Love is the foundation of every right choice

Crowned With Faith — Continuing Her Daughter’s Legacy

Raliene recently launched her nonprofit Crowned With Faith, creating comfort items and keepsakes for new and bereaved families—including custom necklaces like the one she wears with Faith’s photo.

Her goal is simple and beautiful:

“I want parents to know they are not alone. Someone cares. Someone remembers their child.”

🎧 Watch or Listen to the Full Conversation

YouTube: https://youtu.be/LHl8JWrdI0I
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0wfFiJic7zC55FojgFc5on?si=inwD-qBBQyOvsow_uXvNfQ

Need Support After a Trisomy Diagnosis?

SOFT provides compassionate, non-judgmental support for families facing Trisomy 13, Trisomy 18, Trisomy 9, and related conditions.

➡️ New & Expectant Parent Resources: https://trisomy.org/new-and-expectant-parents/
➡️ Community, Conferences, & Medical Information: https://trisomy.org